#GiantCheeseboard

It seems that The Giant Cheese Board, advertised as an unlimited cheese fest promising to take revellers to “cheesey heaven” at Studio 338, south-east London has been (according to Twitter) a shambles and a farce.

#GiantCheeseboard Tweets

The organisers have posted a point by point rebuttal on Facebook, which itself has been rebutted by Facebook users in the comments section. 

Coming Soon...Insect Bread!

Nice move by @FazerSuomi: Finnish bakery start selling bread made from insect https://t.co/m8qZ5Ac0n1 #FoodTech

— Ekaterina Gianelli (@ekagianelli) November 23, 2017

Nudist Restaurant Opens In Paris

Only the salad is dressed... https://t.co/B65yEb4yNy

— BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) November 23, 2017

Pass the sick bag!

Happy World Pasta Day!

Celebrate World Pasta Day by cooking some pasta at home, or going out for some.

Here is a short list of some of my favourite places in Brighton that serve good pasta:

Pinocchio
La Capannina
Donatello
Buon Appetito

Additionally, although it is not an Italian restaurant, the beef brisket ragu with pappardelle pasta and truffle oil at The Independent is first class!

Boiled Scrambled Eggs - Taking The Piss or What!

Eureka moment: You are making scrambled eggs all wrong https://t.co/eb4uDW92k1 via @luxury

— carolyn cohn (@reutersCarolynC) August 31, 2017

Advice To Chefs - Don't Experiment On Your Customers

Whilst I appreciate that chefs need to be innovative and that, in this age of aggressive Ramsay style chef celebrities, every chef wants to be a star.

May I remind you that customers don't all want snail flavoured sorbets served over dry ice. Some of us just want a nice meal that is consistent with the basic rules of good cooking, namely:

1 The meal is served on a plate, not in a jar or on a plank or piece of slate.

2 There is sufficient food on the plate.

3 The food is not drowned in some over priced reduction/jus.

4 The meat is tender, and does not have the consistency of a boiled cows udder.

5 Salt and pepper is on the table, and customers aren't made to feel guilty for using it.

6 The vegetables are actually cooked, broccoli etc is not meant to be crunchy!

In other words please remember you are cooking for customers, who are not laboratory mice to be experimented with!

Your ego and career need to take second place.

Breakfast In A Jar - An Abomination!

Some chefs, in a desperate bid to appear to be "on trend" and grab some attention, appear to be having a mental breakdown.

It's an abomination, put it on a farking plate!!!

Mac 'N' Cheese - Hardcore

On the menu today, macaroni and fuck it. pic.twitter.com/QBKlWhGpLZ

— Work Safety Fails (@FailsWork) July 31, 2017

Gravy In A Can - FFS!

"Sorry, I didn't order a beer."
"That's gravy, sir."
"It's what?"
"Gravy."
"In a can?"
"Yes."

[looks round]

"Gravy?"

(Pic: @Eamonn_Forde) pic.twitter.com/NkYKmBzpnw

— We Want Plates (@WeWantPlates) July 24, 2017

Oh and btw, the food should be served on a plate not a farking plank!

Mince On Toast is NOT A British Classic

Contrary to the byline of this article about mince on toast, mince on toast is most certainly not a:

"quintessentially British comfort classic"

Absolute nonsense to suggest that it is!

Warning - Your Coffee Contains Shit!

BBC News finds Faecal bacteria 'in ice in Costa, Starbucks and Caffe Nero' -
that's the end of iced coffee for me! https://t.co/PTwzgWpKmT

— AuditChair (@BobBeveridge1) June 28, 2017

For avoidance of doubt, there should be ZERO instances of faecal matter in/on drinks, food and cutlery etc!

Customer Returns to Arabica Bar and Kitchen to Pay Bill and Tip After Terror Attack

The Telegraph reports that a customer, who was evacuated from a restaurant during the terror attack in London on Saturday night, returned the next morning to pay his bill and tip the heroic staff.

Richard Angell was having dinner in Arabica Bar and Kitchen in Borough Market when the three terrorists began attacking people in the area.

Returning to the area the next morning, Mr Angell told Buzzfeed News:

"These people shouldn’t win. This is the best city in the world, and Borough Market is one of my favourite bits of the best city in the world. I’m not going to let the barbaric acts of cowardly people minimise that."

Mr Angell said he was going to go back to the restaurant in order to pay his bill - and to finally finish his dinner.

"I’ve got to pay my bill. Also, we haven’t given the staff a tip, and they looked out for us when they should have been helping themselves," he said. "It was lovely food and I want the rest of my main course."

Kudos!

Happy National Fish and Chip Day!

Happy #nationalfishandchipsday! Here's a question: What do you put on your chips? Let's see what's popular!

— Brighton Palace Pier (@BTNPalacePier) June 2, 2017

The BBC Invents The Sandwich!

Kitgum Kitchen at The Sir Charles Napier

Kitgum Kitchen serves excellent East African street food alongside Gujarati home cooking in The Sir Charles Napier (a splendid local pub in Hanover Brighton - 50 Southover Street).

The above video shows newest member of the Kitgum family Christopher Roden preparing samosas.

Burger Off!

Whilst I appreciate that, for reasons best known to chefs, burgers are currently "on trend". May I suggest that if you must serve burgers in your restaurants, for heavens sake don't sandwich them between sour dough slabs, ciabatta or the equivalent of a loaf of bread.

These add nothing other than unnecessary stodge to what is in effect a lazy effort by the chef. Just use a bog standard hamburger bun.

Better still, stop being lazy and cook something more imaginative!

Advice To Chefs Re Food Towers

Whilst it may currently be "on trend" to pile food up upon each other (veg, then meat, then yorkshire etc) and smother it with gravy (aka a "food tower"), it makes the food unappealing and difficult to eat.

In the event that you can't fit it on the plate without piling it up, buy larger plates!

Casting Call For Studio Ramsay

@BrightonOpenMkt Gordon Ramsay's Production Company is calling all #AmateurCooks for new show! To apply E: casting@studioramsay.com PleaseRT pic.twitter.com/HNJX65p6yN

— Be On A TV Show (@beonatvshow) January 25, 2017