The Sad Demise of Patum Peperium – Gentleman's Relish is No More, and Britain Just Got a Little Less Civilised
Blimey, what a rotten start to the week. Yesterday the news dropped
like a lead balloon: Patum Peperium, better known to the rest of us as Gentleman's Relish,
has officially ceased production. After nearly 200 years of quietly
punching above its weight on the nation's toast racks, AB World Foods
has pulled the plug. Sales dwindled, they couldn't find a buyer for the
brand, and now this glorious, salty, fishy little pot of Victorian
brilliance is heading for the great condiment graveyard in the sky.
Created back in 1828 by one John Osborn (an Englishman doing his
thing in Paris, of all places), Patum Peperium – that mock-Latin name
meaning something like "pepper paté" – was originally the preserve of
posh gentlemen's clubs on Pall Mall. It was deemed too robust for the
ladies and far too refined for the hoi polloi. Mrs Beeton herself
recommended it as the perfect "bonne bouche" to help gentlemen enjoy
their port with extra gusto. James Bond even gave it a nod in the books.
Nigella can't live without it. And now? Toast.
For those who've never had the pleasure (or the shock), Gentleman's
Relish is a potent anchovy paste – minimum 60% salted anchovies –
blended with butter, herbs, spices, and that mysterious "Ingredient X"
known only to one person at a time. It's salty as the sea, fishy as a
trawler deck, and spicy enough to wake the dead. You don't slather it on
like Marmite. No, you use it very sparingly – a thin
scrape on hot buttered toast, perhaps with a squeeze of lemon, and
suddenly your afternoon tea feels like an occasion. It melts into
scrambled eggs like a dream, gives a sneaky umami kick to sauces, and
turns a boring Welsh rarebit into something rather special.
I've been a fan for donkey's years. That little white pot with the
elegant black-and-white label has graced my kitchen cupboard more times
than I care to count. A quick smear on toast after a long walk, or
stirred into a batch of devilled kidneys – proper old-school savoury
magic. It divided opinions like few things can ("too pongy!" cry the
faint-hearted; "absolute nectar!" say the rest of us), but that's
exactly what made it brilliant. In a world of bland, mass-produced
everything, Patum Peperium stood firm with its Victorian swagger and
uncompromising flavour.
The sad truth is, it was always a niche product. Even when production
moved from its old Elsenham roots eventually to Poland under AB World
Foods, the loyal following kept it ticking along. But niche doesn't pay
the bills when retailer shelves shrink and the next generation reaches
for avocado smash instead. No grand farewell, no last hurrah – just a
quiet confirmation that the brand is done. Earlier this year, the plug
was pulled. Stocks will linger for a while, but once they're gone,
that's it.
It's another little piece of proper British food heritage slipping
away. Like losing a favourite old pub or that corner shop that actually
knew your name. In these days of endless trends and Instagram-friendly
condiments, something as unapologetically old-fashioned and characterful
as Gentleman's Relish deserves a proper lament.
So here's to you, Patum Peperium. You were never trendy, never meek,
and always used very sparingly – just as the label warned. You made
simple toast feel like a gentleman's club indulgence. We'll miss your
salty punch and that unmistakable whiff that cleared the sinuses and
cheered the soul.
If you've got a pot stashed away, savour every last scrape. And if
you're feeling bold, have a crack at making your own version at home –
there are plenty of recipes floating about that get pretty close
(anchovies, butter, cayenne, nutmeg, lemon – you know the drill).
Raise a slice of hot buttered toast to Gentleman's Relish. Blood marvellous while it lasted.
What about you lot? Got any fond (or horrified) memories of Patum
Peperium? Did you love it or run a mile? Spill in the comments – and if
you've got a final pot, guard it with your life.
Amazon suggestions to tide you over (affiliate links – every little helps keep the blog going):
→ Good quality anchovy fillets for homemade experiments
→ Proper unsalted butter (Kerrygold is my go-to)
→ A decent microplane for zesting lemon over your toast
